I am Next in Line, What do I Say?

By: Greg Hurd
Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Attending a funeral service or a memorial can be overwhelming and painful for most. Trying to find the right words to express your condolences to the family and close friends of the deceased can be difficult. You don’t want to say the wrong thing or not say enough. Here are some guidelines for speaking to the bereaved.

 

It is important to realize the premise of this event and not get lost in the crowd and the emotional tone in the room. You attend these services to mourn the loss of a loved one, pay your respects to the family and support them. By always speaking from your heart and being genuine with your words you can ensure that you will say the right things. Once you start trying to say more than you need to, is when dialect can be conceived as offensive.

 

For example, avoiding phrases like:

 

  • “Everything happens for a reason.”
  • “They are in a better place now”
  • “At least you were able to say your goodbyes”
  • “They are not suffering anymore”

 

Refrain from using any phrases that seek to find the silver lining in the situation.  These tend to sound cliché and belittle the bereaved or deny the pain and sorrow they are feeling as you speak.

 

Instead, try telling stories of your fond memories with the deceased or an example of the impact they have had on your life. Perhaps, they were a motivation for you in a specific aspect of your life, or they were an individual that you looked up to. Positive character traits that suggest warm comments on their personality and the individual they were is a good idea as well. Statements like these bring up good memories and feelings and you can ensure you will never say the wrong thing.

 

If you still feel at a loss for words, it is best to not say anything and instead shake their hand and apologize for their loss. Do what you can to offer your support and respects to the family and know when it is time to step aside and allow others to step in or give them the time they need alone. The goal is to try and make this day a little easier. If you have any other questions you can contact, Hurd Funeral Homes, here. 

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the letters you see in the image.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

5 Memorable Ways to Honor Your Loved One Once They've Passed

Creating a memorial to properly say goodbye and remember a loved one after they've passed is a touching and unique way to pay your respects. Furthermore, it can go a long way to getting through you...

How to Plan a Celebration of Life If No Instructions Were Given

Dealing with the lose of a loved one is never easy, however it can be even more stressful when you have no instructions for their service or end of life celebrations.  In some cases if the pas...

Sending Flowers to the Bereaved

The idea of sending flowers has been a tradition and ritual dating back thousands and thousands of years ago. Although traditions around funerals are constantly changing, it seems that floral arran...

Cremation vs. Burial…How to Decide Which is Best

One of the most difficult and personal discussions that one makes in terms of their end of life plans is the decision between burial and cremation. However, in some cases it is difficult because th...

Should I or Shouldn’t I Go to the Funeral?

Funerals can be a difficult and stressful time for anyone in attendance. It is a time of mourning and loses, that can bring up many different emotions. However, one of the biggest questions that so...

Qualities to Look for in a Good Funeral Home

It may seem like an impossible task, while through a time of immense mourning and grief, however, one of the most important decision that you will have to make is selecting the right funeral home. ...

Unique Memorials From Around the World

There are hundreds of beautiful and unique memorials set up all around the world to memorialize historical moments or influential people. It is difficult to summarize some of the most haunting, yet...

The top 5 Funeral Etiquette Tips

It is important to be prepared for funeral services, especially if this is your first time attending a service. Funerals are a time where everyone in the room is going through some form of emotiona...

Tips for Choosing the Right Types of Flowers for a Funeral Service

Flowers are an important part of any funeral service here at Hurd Funeral Homes in Chillicothe, Illinois. The different flowers and how they can be arranged in different ways help to symbolise our ...

Tips for Letting go of a Loved One While Keeping them close to Your Heart

We here at Hurd Funeral Homes are fully dedicated towards providing you with the necessary knowledge in order for you to cope with this dramatic event in a healthy way. This is why we have pro...